Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Your Favourite Writers #2 - ROSS

Who are you?
Ross is Boss

Where are you?
The Cente of Funk (aka, Biggleswade)

How are you?
Perfectly cromulent.

What are you?
On Halo: Spartan General Grade 1. In real life: Lapwing Commander

How do you listen to music?
With my ears and sometimes a CD player or whatever is currently clogging up my hard drive.

How long have you been listening to music?
Ages. Since this morning I reckon.

First album bought by yourself for yourself?
Now 29 ON TAPE! - (tryhard indie bellend)

Who were your “gateway” band?
The Prodigy. I remember getting 'The Fat of the Land' for Christmas and being very excited and then playing it to death. I'd never heard anything like it before - completely blew my mind. They were perhaps the only band I was interested in, until discovering Blur and The Manics (only ‘Everything Must Go’).

Favourite moment in any music ever for sending shivers down your spine? And why?
Actually, I’m going to say a quite recent one, as I was going to just say “whenever I’ve seen Brand New play live” but I saw Them Crooked Vultures last year at Download and I’d had a few shandies, but their performance was absolutely mesmerising – possibly a weird combination of drunken excitement and brilliant music, but I’ve never felt quite like that before, it was a weird euphoric bliss. So yeah, their whole set was one big spine-tingle of WOW.

What music would it surprise people to know you like?
Even though they look like terrible douchebags I really like 3OH!3 and their ridiculous rapping and frat boy PARTY WHOOO antics.

Remember music videos? What's your favourite?
You’re Not Alone’ by Home Grown. It’s kind of a parody of typical pop-punk videos – always some little hidden in-joke dotted around in the annotations; i.e. lots of mocking directed at the drummer and a close up of Dan (which he hates).

Do you care about album artwork any more? You do? Great! What's your favourite, and why?
Yeah I care about artwork, it’s part of the record, it ties it all together. It’s packaging, it’s something to relate to the music you’re listening to. Plus, it’s good for your stupid friends who don’t know which album certain songs are on, so you can say “it’s on the album that has the fat naked man in a box on the front.”

Favourite? STANDARD

What's guaranteed to get you on the dancefloor?
Anything associated with DJ Lethal.

What's guaranteed to get you off the dancefloor?
Anything that doesn’t ask you to take it to the Mathew’s Bridge.

Who's your favourite person as a person in music?
Without a doubt, it’s John ‘Speedo’ Reis. He’s the Swami of punk rock and one of the nicest dudes I have met, a true gentlemen and a fantastic guitarist.

Best injury caused by music?
Saw a band called Arnocorps about 5 years ago in a small venue near my home town. The singer wanted a stage invasion; I scrambled up there with several others and found myself hugging the singer – then suddenly I was sitting on the drummer’s kit and he started hitting me in the back with his sticks. I couldn’t move for several seconds due to the cram of people, but was quite relieved (as was my back) to be free. I ached a fair bit the next day, but that’s rock ‘n roll.

Best music caused by injury?
Steve Snere of These Arms Are Snakes; completely ruined on whatever drugs/alcohol he’d been consuming before the gig, acting like it was the last days of Rome. His knuckles were bleeding, he’d probably been rolling in broken glass and I witnessed him smash his back on a monitor near the end of their set, but by god, he put on amazing show, mostly due to injuring himself during the night. Nutter.

Most you've ever embarrassed yourself in the cause of music?
Probably my awful singing voice – had to follow one of my friends who can actually sing at a karaoke night and I pretty much murdered ‘Enjoy The Silence’. I was out of key, forgot half the lyrics and started doing some ridiculous hand-dance moves and dropped the microphone several times. I got a sympathy clap from the guy running it.

Imagine someone you fancy, right. What band is it they say they love that tips you over the edge?
Rocket From The Crypt.

Worst band you've ever seen live?
Lots of competition for this. In the smaller bands stake, it was a group called Lion Sex. Two of them thought they were in Steel Panther – quite the opposite lads. One of them even had a wireless bass. Try-hard glam rock, that everyone in the venue and I mean EVERYONE looked bored to tears with. I felt embarrassed, the band must have felt embarrassed, the claps were surely out of sympathy. After a woeful cover of ‘I Fought The Law’ they finally stopped which was for the best. One of the first times I’ve seen a band properly die on stage.

In the bigger bands stake, definitely Five Finger Death Punch at Download in 2010. Possibly the worst band I have ever seen. Someone needed to tell them that nu-metal was about 9 years ago, obviously didn’t get the memo and their macho-bullshit dross they call music was so awful and contrived I was glad when their set was cut early due to a load of fans swarming the stage. I genuinely have no idea how anyone could consider this band as a favourite, let alone wear a t-shirt of theirs, but the amount of belms I witnessed wearing them was staggering.

Also, Stone Temple Pilots – either get to rehab or stop performing you old cokehead.

Did you just fart?
Yeah, apologies.

Tell us your favourite story you've ever heard about some musician.
I’ve always found the fact when Papa Roach first started they didn’t have a guitarist, but instead had a trombone player really, really funny. Imagine if they’d kept him onboard for ‘Infest’?

“CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES *PARP*
THIS IS MY LAST RESORT *PARP*
SUFFOCATION *PARP PARP*
NO BREATHIN’ *PARP*
DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF I CUT MY ARM BLEEDIN’ *PARP*
*Trombone solo*

Favourite soundtrack to anything – film, computer game, TV show, commercial:
Probably the Halo Reach soundtrack; wonderfully overblown in places, yet quite moving in others. Hats off to Martin O’Donnell and Michael Salvatori for making just breathtaking soundscapes.

Whistle the theme from “Midnight Cowboy” for me.
I tried to, but I ended up humming the Jurassic Park theme really loudly instead.

1 comment:

  1. sophialovesross13 July 2011 at 16:17

    'What's guaranteed to get you off the dancefloor?
    Anything that doesn’t ask you to take it to the Mathew’s Bridge.'

    and PARP :D

    ReplyDelete